Petty Holiday Update

This year we were too lazy to send Christmas cards. Instead, I decided to do a recap of our year here.

In January we found out we were having a boy. Much to my surprise. It took us a while to decide on the name. Levi. Perfect.

February was a big month. Tony was offered a job in Buffalo. We had about two weeks to make arrangements for moving. Last minute plans involved a baby shower out of town, multiple trips to Muskegon to say farewell and gather belongings from storage (in my mom's shed).

March was the BIG move. Also in March, I drove back to Michigan for a baby shower, my grandmother passed away, and Tony started work at the new company.

April flew by. We worked on adjusting to life in a new place and preparing for the new life that was about to take over.

We welcomed Levi into the world on May 12. Life has been a blur of joy and sleeplessness since.

I celebrated my birthday in June and enjoyed a visit from my mother and sister. We tried to spend a lot of time outside and continued to adjust to life with an infant.

Levi made his first trip to Michigan in July. We celebrated his birth with family in Durand.

August brought the Rudds to visit us. It was a fantastic time to see them. Levi turned three months and showed us how strong he is by rolling over and trying to move around.

We went apple picking with friends in September and made a ton of applesauce.

In October we celebrated our five year anniversary. Also went to a pumpkin farm and Levi loved his first Halloween- he was a monkey. Also mastered crawling and enjoyed solid for the first time.

Levi's first trip to Muskegon was in November, as well as his first Thanksgiving. He is a great traveler. On our trip Levi climbed an entire flight of stairs.

It is December and we are looking forward to celebrating our first Christmas with our son. I fully expect this holiday season to be the best yet- so far it is living up to expectations. Non rushed time spent with friends, meaningful traditions being started, memories created with our amazing child.

2009 has been a good year for us. I anticipate 2010 will be even better.

Missing It

Lately I have felt a lot of tension.

Pure joy because life is absolutely wonderful.
Sinking depression because life is never perfect.

Satisfying peace because of all we have overcome.
Suffocating anxiety because there are still 1001 things to juggle. Constantly.

Utter amazement that my Levi is so healthy, strong, and happy.
Deep fear that it won't always be this way.

Growing love for my amazing husband- time only makes him better.
Constant worry that I'm not living up to my end of the bargain.

Amazement that I am a mom.
Doubt that in any way I am the mom I want to be.

Excitement for our future and all that it holds.
Fear that we'll always struggle to keep our heads above water.

Peace.
Fear.

Joy.
Worry.

And time continues. It doesn't pause for me to figure it all out. Levi is growing, seasons are changing. I am missing it.

I choose happiness.