March 10, 2009

Moving and Settling

The last week has been full of emotions and life changing events.

We left Michigan on Monday and arrived in Buffalo on Tuesday. The trip here was quite smooth, and the apartment we found online turned out to be really nice. We were able to stay the first night in our new place Wednesday.

By Tuesday night, my nerves were frayed. I felt completely disconnected. I was ready to have a home, and we were still in between.

Wednesday was a welcome change as we were able to unload our car at our new place and get a little bit settled. We spent most of the first few days running errands, trying to take care of the details of moving.

Late Thursday night I received a phone call from my mom that my grandma had passed away. The next day my grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I have really struggled with the fact that I can't be there for my mom. I couldn't go home. There was no way.

Friday the movers came with our stuff, and again, we were able to take a deep breath and relax. I no longer felt in between places, and was ready to get unpacked.

Saturday I woke up having a hard time breathing. I have been fighting a cold for over two weeks now, and this cough has hung on, refusing to let go. After spending the day doing absolutely nothing, I thought I would feel better. When I woke up Sunday hardly able to breathe, we decided to go in to the ER.

The doctor said I have pneumonia. Great.

Tony started his new job yesterday. He has enjoyed his time at work so far. I am so happy for this opportunity and every new thing we learn about the company confirms that this is where we are supposed to be.

But for the first time since we got married, Tony is not at home working. My other half is not with me. And I don't like it when we are apart. I actually like spending time with my husband. I don't like it that I can't walk in the other room and cry on his shoulder when I am having a hard day, and I can't share with him something funny when it happens.

I am at home alone feeling miserable. I have so much to get done. So much I want to do. But no energy. Today I slept for most of the day.

I miss home, but I want to make Buffalo home. I want to meet new people, to unpack our dishes and get Levi's room ready, but I can't breathe. I am extremely happy that Tony has a great job, but I want my best friend to be with me working.

The moving part was relatively simple- the settling is what is proving to be a challenge.