Surgery

Monday I had a physical therapy appointment with Rick, my usual therapist. I was in a lot of pain, and I had no relief over the weekend. Saturday night I woke up at 2:30 in the morning in pain and was unable to sleep. Because of this, he wanted me to meet with Rob, the founder of Health Motion (where I have been going for pt). Rick wasn't pleased with the progress I was making.

Today I had the appointment with Rob, and he did a physical. After asking several questions and lots of pushing and pulling, he told me that physical therapy is no longer going to be useful to me and said he would cancel the rest of my physical therapy appointments. I have had some relief from it, but at this point it is not producing the results he wants to see. The compression is too great on the nerve root. He said he was shocked that I was still able to walk.

He said to meet with a specialist to discuss surgery as an option. I have an appointment tomorrow with a physical medication and rehabilitation specialist. It is an appointment that I have had for a while, in case I didn't get better.

I met with my chiropractor to let him know the latest information. He was shocked. He had seen the improvement I was making and didn't think it was going to come to surgery.

Today I have been trying to wrap my head around the idea that I will most likely be having back surgery.

I don't want to lose another summer. I don't want to be in pain anymore. I don't want to have surgery. I don't want to be alone in a hospital. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to have to trust some stranger with my life. I don't want to be unable to go for a bike ride with my husband.

I am not doing well.

I think I agree with the words of Ginger "huh? rain? stop it God!"