May 04, 2008

Struggle

I would define the last year of our life as a struggle.

A heart-wrenching, fear-inducing, difficult and rewarding, struggle.

A physical, emotional, financial, spiritual struggle.

A struggle to find peace and hope.

We moved away from Muskegon, moving away from family with hopes of building new, healthy life-long relationships. Our goal has been to see the pattern of chaos and deep brokenness that exists within each of our families come to an end.

One of the things that has been the most difficult for me to accept and understand is the lack of people in our lives. We have large distant families, but we have needed to distance ourselves from most of them as they are unhealthy and have been hurtful in our past.

And we have a handful of good friends. And we are truly grateful for them in our lives.

But on the day to day struggle of life, we find ourselves feeling alone and without people. And that is the biggest struggle for me.

So we go on, trying to make sense of our life and what we are supposed to be doing. And I am sure I am not alone in feeling alone.

Trying to not allow bitterness and anger to control the way I engage the world. I want to choose joy and hope.

But it is a struggle.

4 Comments:

Blogger Tony Petty said...

Two things:
1) Although I understand, I think that your "year end summary" timing is a bit odd. Perhaps it will help to know that we moved in April of last year.
2) It sure does seem difficult for us to create new, lasting friendships. Although we have created one, others seem very hard to come by.

3:11 PM

 
Blogger Daniel Rudd said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:45 PM

 
Blogger Katie Rudd said...

Thanks again for all the ways you helped at Ginger's party - you always add alot of fun.
:)
I can relate to looking back over a year and seeing mostly struggle - I've had some years like that. Hope this next one is beautifully different - you two deserve the best.
Love from KDWGIW

11:50 PM

 
Blogger Katie Rudd said...

p.s. I accidentally left this comment as Daniel the first time.
:)

11:52 PM

 

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