October 09, 2008


Many of you reading this know that I used to have serious issues with my mom. Relational issues that I never thought would be resolved. And now, we get along very well. Our relationship has hit a few spots that have tested it in the last couple months, but we are still able to get along and have healthy dialogue.

Which is great.

But now, my dad and I and his wife are at odds. The last four years of our marriage have been primarily spent trying to find healthy ways of relating to and dealing with our extremely hurting and hurtful family. We never realized how hurtful my dad and Ellen had the potential to be.

We have limited a lot of contact with our extended families, which has been difficult, but after many stressful and unhealthy family gatherings, we knew it was right to cut back.

And we have had to deal with each one of our parents in their own way. It seems like after all we have done and tried, we would be in a better place with our immediate families than we are now, I guess I should say my immediate family.

My brother and I are not on speaking terms. My dad and I talk but he has no idea how much he has hurt me. His wife and I aren't speaking, after a huge fight we had in July that has never resolved itself.

I don't see any solution in sight. I guess I shouldn't give up hope; things with my mom were much more volitile and they worked out. It just feels different. Like I'm the only one that realized how messed up things are and they are fine with how it is.

I just want my baby to have a family that won't disappoint or hurt her/him. And that is out of my control.


Blogger Kimburley Sue said...

Well.. you do what you have to do, really.
I mean.. as Christians.. there comes a time when we've done all we can and now all that's left is just to make sure others know the door is open for love whenever they're ready. I've never experienced this to quite the extent you have, I don't think.. and definitely not with family. But I have had a relationship or two get to this point before. It hurts, yes... but sometimes it's the only thing we can do to protect our spiritual, emotional, mental, and in some cases our physical health.
I've been there. So, I'll definitely be praying for you because I know how bad it hurts. :0(
i love you though!
OH, and you can control some things about how your baby interacts and is interacted with by family. I know you and Tony will protect the love in your family and fight for it everyday. And, while you can't control how your parents and brother interacted with your baby... you can control the amount of interaction they have and to what extent.
I would never suggest keeping your baby from your family, but sometimes you do have to create boundries, lol

yay! i love you!

8:18 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there!! I just wanted you to know that we went through the same thing with my side of the family...extended family. It's no fun, but there is only so much you can do! Most importantly, you need to be happy, and healthy!! You can try to patch things up, but you can't lose any of yourself in the process.

Hope to see you soon!

11:22 AM


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